I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have a very strong relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. I have always had this relationship, and I’m grateful for the knowledge that He is always there. However, because of the depression, at times it feels like I’m all alone. It feels like I can’t find Him. And that scares me. I feel like I have no one to turn to. I know that’s not true. How can someone like me, who always tries stay by the Savior’s side, feel so alone and away from Him? I feel like at times, I’m losing my faith.
But I know He is there. Whenever I feel this, an image comes to my head. It’s a painting I love, of Peter sinking into the water after Christ calls for him to follow Him. The Savior is lovingly reaching out His hand.
I feel like Peter. I feel like I’m sinking. But I know that the Savior is always reaching out His hand for me. All I have to do is reach out myself, and He will catch me. He will pull me out. That reaching out is my act of faith, trusting that my Savior will be there for me. I cling to that.
I was having a really bad day yesterday. Again, I felt like my world was falling apart, and I was losing hope. I sat in the temple, praying for peace. Three simple words came very strongly to my mind: “Endure it well.” This comes from one of my favorite scriptures from the Doctrine and Covenants. It’s from section 121:7-8. “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” That brought instant peace into my heart. I know that my Heavenly Father and my Savior are there. I know They brought that into my mind, at the very moment I needed it the most.
That’s what is required of me right now. I just need to endure this trial well. It doesn’t say endure it perfectly. Just well. I don’t know why I have to suffer this trial. I might never know. But what I do know is that I’m not going through this alone. I have Heavenly help. All I have to do is be like Peter and stretch out my hand to grasp onto the Savior’s extended arm.
This trial is not going to last forever. It might last throughout my earthly life, but if I accept this trial and allow the Lord to help me, it will be resolved in the next life. I’m not the only one with trials. Every single person on this earth has something hard they go through! No two trials are the same. We just need to take what the Lord gives us, and learn what He needs us to learn from them. I know the Lord loves me. That’s why He gave me this trial. That might sound weird, but I know I am going to learn more from this trial than I would learn anywhere else. And for that, I’m grateful!